Saturday, March 15, 2008

Same ol' Same Ol'

Well, things are getting back slowly but surely to the way they used to be before I left for Montana. Hubby quit going to counseling and says it's my fault because all I do is say what I think the counselor should hear and then get back home and don't change at all... BS! That's another excuse for him to not feel bad that he just wants to quit. Also, he's been getting lazy about the horses and helping around the house.. He was SO GOOD when I first got home from Montana, and when he got that draft horse, he was SO GOOD with helping me feed and care for them... I knew the novelty of having his own horse would wear off, just like the novelty of me.... and now he hardly helps me do anything with the horses or around the house. Before, he was into helping with the cleaning and feeding of the horses, helping me with cleaning the house, etc... now all he wants to do is the fun stuff and I do all the work. He has also got back into his leaving crap laying around the house... I don't know where this is all coming from... I'm afraid I'll be back in Montana within a year... .Maybe for good this time... He just doesn't want to put any effort into our relationship, unless it's something he wants.... The only way he has changed is to not argue with me so much, but that is such a small part of our entire marriage...

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hey Cuz,

Maybe he is just plain tired after a hard day's work...he's not 20 anymore! Here is a tough question for you...what would Jesus do in your position?

What if you gave up your life, expected to clean house and care for horses, and looked at it as "your job" for a good Christian witness to your hubby? Jesus says "those who lose their life (for My sake) shall find it. What if you lose your "life", do these things without complaining, considering them a joy and a privilege, freeing your husband up from them so that he can have a mental and physical break when he gets home?

And another thing; this may sound like blasphemy, but a woman counsellor, even a "Christian" one, is not a good idea, as the bible says that women are not to teach or lead men, which means that your husband is probably not "wired" to listen to her and take her advice.

If you get desperate enough, try this: do all horse and house work yourself, without complaining. If you start to feel bitter and resentful, just think how nice it is to have horses and a house to care for. Go the extra mile, doing things that please and surprise your husband, expecting nothing in return, but believing that by this you are serving Jesus. Try this for six months and see if it does not improve your marriage! What do you think? The worst that could happen is that you would be no worse off then than you are now, only your husband might be the happiest man on the planet. Thoughts? Lori